This is a really hard post to write. I’m struggling because the last month has literally been a struggle. It is very hard for me to tell others about what is going wrong in my life. I think that might have a bit to do with my pride. I mean, who doesn’t want everyone to think they’ve got it together? But this is probably another lesson I am supposed to learn throughout this time, so here I am…talking about the storms in our life.
Our camper caught fire. We were planning a trip to Ireland for December, and Phil Dirt had ordered a battery pack for us to charge our phones on while we were gone. We got it in the mail on Tuesday, and it caught our camper on fire on Wednesday. Dirt had charged it the night before, unplugged it, and then left it on the counter by the bed. During the day, the pups somehow knocked it onto the bed where it overheated. Thankfully, our friends were home and were able to get our dogs out of the camper and put the fire out. Ruger hid on the bunk bed and came out practically untouched. Remy, on the other hand, decided to hide under the bed that was on fire. She buried her face in some clothes, but that still wasn’t enough to keep her from inhaling a lot of smoke and getting burns on her head and chest. Our friends weren’t certain she was going to make it, so one took her to the vet while the other stayed to talk to the fire department. Dirt went straight to the vet when he found out whathappened, and, thankfully, Remy perked up when she saw her daddy. After about two nights of her continuously coughing and throwing up soot, she finally started feeling better and getting back to her old self. I’ve never been so tired or relieved.
When Phil Dirt called me, my initial reaction was to go straight to panicking. At the time, I had no idea if Remy was going to make it or if we had a home anymore. That worry was one of the worst feelings of my life. I knew if I continued to head down that road, I was going to make myself sick. So, my second reaction was to pray. It’s the only other option I had. I couldn’t change what had happened. I couldn’t make Remy better. God was my only source of relief. He got me to the vet safely and without any tears (if you know me, no tears was a miracle within itself). I think I stayed in shock until I had to tell my mom the news. Then the tears came in full force. There were so many unknowns, and all I could feel was overwhelmed. Which lead me to one of my favorite verses: Psalms 61:2.
Throughout the evening, I forced my mindset to begin to change. I had to focus on the positives or the negatives were going to steal my joy, and I NEEDED joy. Our Remtin was alive, and we had the means to take care of her. Our friends were home, able to save the pups, and put out the fire before it could do more damage. Our camper may have burned, but ONLY the camper was damaged by the fire. All of our clothes were covered in soot and smoke, but I was hopeful that we could get them clean. Our friends let us stay in their guest room and they got us pizza, so we didn’t have to worry about where we were going to sleep or what we were going to eat. I asked God every day to remind me of these little things, so that I would remember that life could be worse and that He still had us in the palm of His hand. I had to rely on Him for strength and courage because I was not strong enough to handle this storm on my own.
Have I stayed positive this entire time? Nope. Not even close for a few days. I had to say prayers and read scripture constantly to keep from crying or becoming discouraged. Even then, I didn’t always succeed. Dealing with insurance, trying to decide if we should build our tiny house sooner, huge assignments due in school, the pressure of not having a job and not knowing if I would be able to get one immediately after graduation, possible job changes for Phil Dirt that could cause us to move, and more were on my mind at every turn. They still are. All I know is that God is in control, and He has a plan for our lives. Even if we don’t know it yet.
So, we are stilling working toward His plan. God is preparing us for something, and I can’t wait to see what it is. My daily prayer is for His will to be done, because right now, we have no idea what is best for us. I’m just thankful for his blessings, and I will do my best to praise Him in the storms.
Pray for us! Our crazy selves need every prayer we can get!